Sunday, April 5, 2015

Everything in between

I had high hopes for this blog. Maybe that's why it didn't keep up. I think I had too many expectations about what this blog was supposed to be and what it wasn't.

I've recently begun to practice yoga and it might be the best things that's happened to me. Physically, it energizes me — I need less sleep than I used to because it's gotten me to do something physical on a regular basis. I also am developing upper body and core strength, something that I've never even been able to claim I had. But it's also been wonderful for my mind.

Today has been one of the least productive days of my school year. Even less than last quarter when I became so overwhelmed that I just shut down and laid in bed for hours (it was a bad time). But today, the sun wasn't out, and my leg hurt so bad from long boarding yesterday that I just moped around the house. I talked with a few people and that was nice — I even skyped my family and played "tea" with my nephew through our screens — but even that couldn't get me to do any of the things on my to-do list.

As I was about to take my third shower of the day, I realized what I was doing. I shut off the water, put on a shirt that makes me feel good about myself (even though it's about five years old and pilling like nobody's business) and dashed into the living room. I planted my feet, took some deep breaths and did some yoga. I'm such a beginner that I don't even know what I did — I have no names for anything except downward dog, cobra, and Shavasana. But it helped. I moved through it until I felt my leg and my mind release, and now here I am, on a blog I haven't touched in eight months.

I am grateful for the power of those five minutes of yoga. I am grateful that even when I have a bad day, there are lessons to be learned. I am grateful that I'm finding things in my life that are important to me.